How to Be Friends with an Ex, According to a Psychologist (2023)

FAQs

How to Be Friends with an Ex, According to a Psychologist? ›

According to the research, staying friends with an ex for security and practicality is more likely to have positive outcomes. When you've known someone intimately, you trust them and rely on them for emotional support and help.

According to the research, staying friends with an ex for security and practicality is more likely to have positive outcomes. When you've known someone intimately, you trust them and rely on them for emotional support and help.

Can You Be Friends With a Former Therapist? While not common, a friendship can develop when you've finished therapy. There are no official rules or ethical guidelines from either the American Psychological Associated or American Psychiatric Association regarding friendships with former clients.

A friendship with an ex can be highly rewarding, but it's more than OK not to have a relationship or be in contact with them. Accepting the transience of connection and moving forward on your own path will give you much more peace than holding onto a past flame when there is no longer alignment.

But as clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula points out, narcissists often have a habit of staying in contact with their exes in a way that is solely about their own needs. "The central motivator for narcissists is validation," she explains. "And an ex is often a really interesting place to get it...

Yes. Narcissists can and almost always do remain friends with their exes. However, narcissists interpret the term “friend” differently than normal people. Normal people see a potential friend as someone they connect with based on shared interests, values, life experiences, and hobbies.

Feeling a little upset about those thoughts is normal, too. However, if you're still obsessed with your ex almost two years later, then you may need to seek help. Being depressed over a breakup two years later could be a sign of something worse. Perhaps talk to a counselor or therapist and see how they can help you.

Your question raises a number of concerns. The short answer is that your therapist is ethically bound NOT to let you know she is working with your ex-wife. Part of client confidentiality includes not sharing the identity of a person in therapy with another person without the explicit permission of that client.

Standard A. 6. e., Nonprofessional Interactions or Relationships (Other Than Sexual or Romantic Interactions or Relationships) of the ACA Code of Ethics states: “Counselors avoid entering into nonprofessional relationships with former clients … when the interaction is potentially harmful to the client.

Is it best to cut all ties with an ex? ›

The no-contact rule refers to cutting off all contact with an ex following a breakup, and it's the best method for moving on from an ex. No contact should last for a minimum of 60 days, and it includes no texting, no calling, and no interacting on social media.

They're friends with their ex

Feeling threatened by an ex is a normal feeling — but it's not a red flag. Maybe they were friends before they started dating. Perhaps they value each other's opinions or words of advice. Or maybe they dated so long ago that every ounce of romantic connection has simply disappeared.

Ideally, you would wait six to 12 months after a breakup before even asking yourself that question. And if there ever was any abuse in the relationship, don't ask it at all — focus on getting distance and moving on. After any breakup, you want to ensure that you put your well-being first.

Your ex might want to be friends if they're trying not to hurt your feelings or they want the breakup to be amicable. They might also want to be friends if they want to get back together with you or hook up with you.

"Shifting from a committed relationship to a FWB relationship with your ex is psychologically very dangerous. There is too much historical baggage attached." Friends with benefits situations are difficult enough as it is, Klapow explains, because they go against human nature.

By remaining friends with their exes, narcissists get to keep all of their former partners on a carousel of convenience: they can create a harem of people to use for sex, money, praise, attention or whatever else they desire, at any time.

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

Narcissists get over their exes very quickly. In a survey we conducted among 300 people who experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship, we discovered that the average amount of time it took for a narcissist to get over their ex was three-and-a-half weeks.

The narcissist's jealousy will lead them to want to drag you back down to the level you were at when you were together. Miserable and dependent on them! The narcissist's jealousy may even lead them to try and sabotage your new relationship by spreading rumors about you or your new partner.

How does a narcissist treat a woman? ›

They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.

The final stage in a narcissistic friendship, the discarding stage involves the narcissist ridding themselves of threats and connections that no longer serve them.

They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, according to Mental-Health-Matters. These are the natural ways for your heart to heal.

According to a 2021 study on social media and breakups, participants needed about 6 months on average to heal. Others took up to a year, possibly because they stayed stuck in certain stages of grief ruminating on the past.

Our inability to get over an ex may be a sign that we have a relationship lesson yet to learn. Sometimes, the lesson is that we need to learn to appreciate our own worth better and to celebrate our ability to be loving.

The following situations typically legally obligate therapists to break confidentiality and seek outside assistance: Detailed planning of future suicide attempts. Other concrete signs of suicidal intent. Planned violence towards others.

But in other more serious situations, therapists are lawfully bound to keep the client or others safe. In general, therapists are required to keep everything you say in confidence except for the following situations: planned suicide intent. planned violence towards others.

Your non-verbal language is a powerful way to tell a story when it does not always match your verbal story. Some of the things psychologists look for are your posture, hands, eye contact, facial expressions, and the position of your arms and legs. Your posture says a lot about your comfort level.

Can your therapist initiate a hug? A therapist can hug a client if they think it may be productive to the treatment. A therapist initiating a hug in therapy depends on your therapist's ethics, values, and assessment of whether an individual client feels it will help them.

According to new research, 72 percent of therapists surveyed felt friendship toward their clients. 70 percent of therapists had felt sexually attracted to a client at some point; 25 percent fantasized about having a romantic relationship.

Why is a therapy hour 50 minutes? ›

Sigmund Freud started the weekly 50-minute therapy session over a hundred years ago, for pretty good reasons. Some are obvious, such as the hour being a convenient unit of time, clients needing to get back to their activities, and therapists needing to write notes and get ready for the next client.

No-contact rule female psychology says that cutting off all contact after a breakup is the best decision. This allows both of you to clear your heads, and either move on from the relationship or decide to work things out and come back together.

A soul tie is an intense spiritual connection between two people that results in a mutual learning experience. The concept of a soul tie has gained steam on TikTok and among the Gen Z population, who are increasingly looking outside the bounds of organized religion for answers to life's big questions.

The psychology of no contact on dumper is a coping mechanism to help you think hard about what went wrong and how you could be a better person and a potentially better partner to the next person who will come along. Instead of thinking about your ex, you have to focus on self-improvement and healing.

If you share a healthy bond and have firm boundaries with your ex, being in touch with them can become a significant part of your social support, since the relationship has a certain level of shared comfort. The key is to know what your expectations and boundaries are with each other.

If you had a healthy friendship with your ex when you were in a serious relationship, the fact that you're saying vows shouldn't change that. It's less to do with your marital status and more to do with the individual situation—the ex, your partner, and you. Sometimes, being friends with an ex is totally natural.

Minimize contact with your ex

You must completely let go of your past since talking to an ex while in a relationship is not such a good idea. They shouldn't be plastered all over your phone. It's okay to have them on your social media, but don't interact with them. Don't text each other or like each other's photos.

“Yes, it is possible to be friends with an ex right after the breakup, especially if you have had a strong foundation built on friendship before you became lovers,” Celia Schweyer, dating expert at Dating Scout, tells Elite Daily.

Being friends with your ex is actually the worst thing you can do right now. It's tempting to think that by being around your ex and having fun together you're moving towards a relationship. But you're really doing the opposite. You're actually hurting your chances of ever getting them back.

Staying friends with someone after developing real romantic feelings for them can be hard. However, many people have successfully remained friends after unrequited love confessions. Although it's common for two people not to be able to get past potential awkwardness, it can still be possible for some.

How do I be friends with my ex without looking desperate? ›

Conclusion. You are not alone in wanting to be friends with your ex, and there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Exes can make for good friends who know how to support, motivate, and care for you. However, each situation is unique.

For your mental peace and happiness, it is essential that you have a straightforward conversation with your ex and let them know that there is no logic in being friends. Simply tell them that you do not like the idea of friendship after the breakup and that it is something that is not going to work for you.

What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends? It may mean they are not over the relationship yet or regret the decision to break up with you. They may also want to be friends because they want to be on good terms with you post-breakup or may need something from you.

A situationship is an uncommitted, undefined romantic relationship between two people—meaning that those in this type of relationship have not established what they are to each other. While it may share some similarities with a friends-with-benefits relationship, the two terms do not mean the same thing.

People involved in a friends-with-benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together, but their relationship isn't romantic and has no strings attached.

It's somewhere between a dating relationship and a friendship. Usually, friends with benefits (a.k.a. FWB) means that people who know each other engage in intimate/sexual activity without really dating each other. It's different from hooking up, which tends to be a one-time thing with someone new.

Your ex might want to be friends if they're trying not to hurt your feelings or they want the breakup to be amicable. They might also want to be friends if they want to get back together with you or hook up with you.

Why would an ex want to keep you as a friend? ›

There are four main reasons, Rebecca Griffith and her colleagues found, why exes feel compelled to maintain a friendship or to suggest doing so: for civility (i.e., I want this breakup to hurt less than it will otherwise), for reasons relating to unresolved romantic desires (I want to see other people but keep you ...

A truly healthy friendship with an ex — one in which new partners are fully involved and all friendships are disclosed — is not only a great sign that you've emotionally evolved past the breakup. It means the relationship itself was a supremely mature one, built on mutual respect and closeness.

Ideally, you would wait six to 12 months after a breakup before even asking yourself that question. And if there ever was any abuse in the relationship, don't ask it at all — focus on getting distance and moving on. After any breakup, you want to ensure that you put your well-being first.

5) Don't Rule Out Friendship

As long as you don't make a big problem about it and deal with the rejection maturely, then this person can still be in your life if they want to be. Sometimes, it can be the start of a really good friendship so don't go cutting any ties because it didn't work out romantically.

You can tell a lot about your ex just by looking at their phone messages or texts — if they even bother to reply to your messages at all. If your ex doesn't even bother to text or call you back anymore, then that's a very good sign that they are using you as a backburner option.

Probably he wants to feel light and find his mental peace by connecting with you and maybe even arguing with you. When keeping quiet on things becomes tough, this is their preferred way of sailing through the rough phase. Loneliness can be another major reason behind his urge to text you.

"Shifting from a committed relationship to a FWB relationship with your ex is psychologically very dangerous. There is too much historical baggage attached." Friends with benefits situations are difficult enough as it is, Klapow explains, because they go against human nature.

It's natural and not uncommon to feel close to your therapist and want to be friends with them. However, building a personal relationship with them goes against most mental health counseling codes of ethics. It may also impact your therapeutic process and lessen therapy's benefits.

“Space can be from a couple of hours to a couple of days or weeks,” says Ruiz, though he generally doesn't recommend his clients take longer than 3 to 4 weeks. “The timeframe that is being considered should be reasonable for both parties to agree with,” he says.